The Crazy Experiment

Search of honey involves being stung by bees

Today is a little long. Takes about 4 minutes to read (1425 words).

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Honestly I was all set to write my book in 2020. I had my systems in place, all my data and results but I felt the need for some more validation from a few more folks using the method else it is mere advice. So I decided to spread the word around in my inner circles and asked who wants to join the party and get healthy. I cherry picked 8 of them.

We ran the community for 8 months. 5 of them had exemplary results and 3 did not stick to the plan despite the accountability push. I personally called each one of them and asked “why”.

I got typical responses like I am stressed at work, I don’t have help at home and the usual stuff but one interview changed everything inside me.

For privacy reasons we will not use any names. Let’s call her “X”. As a person she is amazing at everything. A very well known public speaker. Known for her contribution to society.

She told me, “you nailed everything. There cannot be a more simpler plan than this but my menopause is driving me nuts. You will get there and you will understand what I mean. All this will work till you are 40. Post 40 it is a different scene for a woman.You can’t lose weight. You can’t control your hunger. The brain fog is real. Fatigue levels are high. Peri Menopause and Menopause will break everything.”

At this time I was exactly 41. Till that moment, I have not thought about Menopause and women health at all. My experiment took a different turn from here.

I asked myself, what if women above 40 can get to best shape of their lives and beat the hormones black and blue?

I obsessed over this inquiry.

I read everything I could about menopause. I spoke to several gynaecologists (including my own cousin sisters) about the same and then devised a crazy experiment.

What if someone in the journey to menopause post 40, transforms that body and mind from absolute dilapidation into something magically sustainable, healthy and long lasting. From and To in my imagination was inspiring.

I could go in search of this person, coach them, journey with them or I become one and fit the profile as I had the biological age, mental fitness and phenomenal curiosity. This time I didn’t even ask anyone to be my Guinea pig. I volunteered myself. This is when covid hit and we all were scrambling for supplies, besieged by fears and dealing with the unknown called covid.

After a long time I had Maggi. I had food at odd times. I couldn’t get my lettuce and spinach regularly. I developed insomnia at this time. The irrational fear of losing elderly parents just ate me alive. Thanks to covid. I forgot about the experiment and just wallowed through the vortex of covid period. I added at-least 10 kgs that year. I guess from 70 I got to 80.

There was no sign of covid going away so I decided to continue the experiment. I wanted the 80 to touch 100 this time. For a change I wanted to collect data on weight gain and really empathise with what obesity really does to a person.

From 100, I want to bring it down all the way to 65 and that is where my BMI would be 22. My family and friends were super angry at me spiking my weight and spoiling my health. But I saw the experiment as an important contribution to the women fraternity overall. Not just women but to the whole epidemic of lifestyle disorders(OHHDLC - Obesity, Heart, Hypertension, Diabetes, Lipids and Cancer). The purpose drove me to embody lifestyle changes for the worse.

Universe conspired. It gave me stress like no other time. I was dealing with 3 terminal illnesses (Stage 4 lung cancer, COPD - operating at 20% lung capacity, a digestive disorder - a combination of IBS and Crohns) at home. Mental health was going to tatters at work. Partner going bonkers with mid life. Teen age kids going through physical and mental issues. Thanks to everything I could successfully add weight in this period. You might think, what is so hard in adding weight. Let me remind you ladies and gentlemen, adding weight is harder than losing weight. Data 👇

For the first time, I empathised with my fellow women dealing with hardships. As luck may have it, I caught binge eating disorder in this time and gosh! What a lovely friend, food is for stress anxiety and depression.

It drove me nuts. I ate bags of chips, buckets of ice cream, bottles of soda and pints of booze. I was no longer in the ambit of experiments and data. I was in the real thing struggling with weight, finding clothing, sleeping, walking and even breathing. I hated every bit of it. I lost the streak of experimenter in me. I had no motivation this time. All issues were bundled up as a knot that weight was the last thing I worried about. From 12 size shirt, I moved to 20 (that was tight too). I didn’t recognise who I was in the mirror. I decided to unbundle the knots and I took some drastic steps in my life.

I drew a line. The first thing I did was to stop the workaholism in me. I stopped working for my own startup. I shifted to a corporate career. I wanted someone to tell me what to work on. I don’t want to own everything at that point. I could have taken a break but you know what, I will drive me and everyone around me crazy if I abstained from work. Also I couldn’t take a break because my corporate decision gave my partner guts to stop his corporate career. It gave space for him to explore his interests, midlife and entrepreneurial journey. Kids are growing up and their college expenses was going to hit the roof. Medical expenses for ageing parents was shooting up with ICU visits every other week. Suddenly life was real. I hardly thought about my weight at this point. I was slowly getting comfortable in the big body. It stopped bothering me so much. Living in unawareness makes disease easy. Ignorance is bliss truly. My weight soared upto 107 kgs.

6 weeks ago, I had a pain in the chest region and I could hardly keep my head straight. That is when my cardiologist called me to his office to blast me. My arteries were hardening, I was pre diabetic, my plantar fasciitis got worse that made me limp, onset of thrombosis was visible in the reports and I was one big health mess at this point. I literally had everything in OHHDLC chart.

I drew another big line and deprioritised everything else in life as I had no other choice. If I continue this way, I am months away to non-existence.

This is when my experiment peeked at me again and asked, this is the perfect control experiment setup, shall we start the journey of Sensibowl? I smiled and said yes.

In the corner of my heart, the experimenter in me was satisfied with the control settings. It is just perfect. I could not have found the subject with so much dedication, courage and curiosity. I became the subject in the process. The lines are blurry between the subject and the experimenter now. I gave myself brownie points and a few pats on my back. Now writing this book is more meaningful as I can walk the talk and share with you real data around weight, organ health, hormonal balance, struggles, emotions, turfs and the journey. What more can be exciting than a real case study?

It is easier to show before and after. It takes immense courage to show the before and walk the after authentically. The strive is more important than the outcomes as I don’t know what is in store. I trust in my first principles. I have conviction that the next 1000 days is more than enough to reverse all the diseases, become healthy and fit while life runs in full throttle as always.

Are you rolling your eyes at 1000 days? Think about it, 30 years of bad health and 3 years of strive for good health. The ratio is 10:1 🤷‍♀️